Lessons from field work - Speak your truth without fear
It’s still National Social Workers month and I’m back with another bit of wisdom from my internship experiences. Today I’m talking about assertiveness and honesty.
Don’t be afraid to say what you want or need.
If you read last week’s post, you’ll know that my first internship placement was in a school setting. This was because I thought I would want to work as a school social worker. My MSW program offered a certificate in school social work that came with several extra requirements and the expectation that all field work would be completed in a school. Between my first and second years, I decided for a number of reasons not to continue in that certificate program. So the possibilities for my second internship opened up considerably.
Over the summer, I met with the professor who oversaw the field work part of the program to discuss my options. By this time, I was very interested in therapy, particularly with young children. There were certainly placements that would give me opportunities to observe and practice these skills. But I was afraid to say that I wanted to be a therapist. I chickened out!
In this meeting with the professor, we talked about several options for placements, but I was indecisive. She finally asked me something along the lines of “What do you see as the role of a social worker?” And I spit out an answer that I thought she would want to hear (something about how social workers connect people with needed resources) rather than being clear about what I wanted, which was therapy experience. So I ended up being an intern for the county children’s services agency for an entire school year. I learned a lot in that placement for sure, but no opportunities for therapy in sight!
There have been times when I wondered whether my career path would have been any different if I had been more clear and unafraid to say what I wanted in that meeting. I do think having an internship that allowed me to see other therapists in action and develop my skills under close supervision would have been a boost in my early career. It might have been easier to find work as a therapist straight out of school. Instead I worked as a case manager for a year before finding my first clinical gig.
Now, ten years removed from that experience, I know I have followed the path that was meant for me and that all of my experiences in work and life only add to my skills as a therapist. This one fateful meeting didn’t actually change the course of my life.
Still, that experience stands as a reminder when I feel afraid to say what I want or need. I am by no means perfect at speaking up for myself, but I like to think I’ve come a long way. It’s ok and actually very good to want things for yourself - to have ambition, dreams, or goals. It’s ok and good to assert your needs and wants in your relationships, work, education, etc. even when it feels scary and vulnerable. Often those are the times when it’s most important to be open about what we are thinking and feeling.
I love working with clients around these issues and helping them identify and confront the deeper reasons why assertiveness is so difficult for them personally. It’s a journey and when we’re doing our best, we’re all in the arena together!
Until next week, take good care of yourself!
Meghan
PS: Thanks for reading, if this speaks to you, I’d love to hear about it in the comments. And if you’d like to work with me, give me a call or email me to set up a free consultation call. My email is meghan@maryvillecounseling.com