New Year’s Intentions for Anxious People
Hello friends! Last week I shared about my personal history and feelings about New Year’s Day and how yucky it made me feel to constantly be failing to keep my resolutions. I also talked about what I’m doing instead of resolutions. If you didn’t catch it, I’d love for you to check it out.
A quick recap is that I’m setting my intention for the year using a one-word theme that I hope to bring into multiple facets of my life. So, today I’m writing to my folks who struggle with anxiety and want to set some intentions and choose a word around this issue. From my observation, anxiety and stress have become an accepted part of modern life. There are so many expectations we place on ourselves and so much pressure to live up to standards that our culture sets for us. It doesn’t have to be this way, and we really can opt out and make our own path based on our values and a deep sense of worthiness within ourselves.
In my work with clients who come to me for help with anxiety, a theme that often comes up is ENOUGH. When have we done enough or bought enough or made enough money so that we can feel like we ARE enough? Is that really a place we can get to? Capitalism wants us to think it’s possible, but in my personal experience and from working with clients on this stuff, there will always be more things to do and have, so there is never an end to this hustle. I think the pressure of this endless treadmill is a huge contributor to overall anxiety and stress. What my folks with anxiety often need to work through is how to feel that they are enough just as themselves. We are each born inherently worthy of love, right? Think of babies you have known, yours or someone else’s. We don’t have judgments or expectations for babies. Well, maybe some people do, but that’s probably a projection based on their own anxiety or past trauma. That baby is actually worthy of love without doing anything to get it. When does that change? When do we decide that we have to do things or have things to be worthy of love? Maybe you are enough exactly the way you are with exactly the stuff that you have. If this speaks to you, I encourage you to adopt ENOUGH as your word of the year and work on growing into that intention.
Another theme that often comes up in working on anxiety is being PRESENT. When we are trapped in anxiety, we cannot be present in our lives because we are always thinking about either the future or the past and sometimes both at the same time! Being present means being rooted here and now as often as possible. I say as often as possible because no one can be fully present 100% of the time. We do have to think and plan ahead in order to live our lives. But our minds often go overboard and we get lost in a spiral of thoughts that keep us from seeing what is right in front of our faces. Becoming more present and mindful in our day to day lives is a practice that yields tons of benefits, so if this is something you feel like you need more of in your life, PRESENT would be a great intention to set for yourself this year.
Sometimes when you’ve experienced anxiety for many years, it becomes like your comfort zone. Even though it is uncomfortable to feel on edge and tense all the time, it becomes normal. One thing all therapists know is that people do not like change, so many times people who have become comfortable with their discomfort have a hard time getting themselves to actively pursue a change like bringing more PEACE into their lives. Choosing the word PEACE or CALM as your word of the year would be great if you want to make choices to actively bring more of this into your environment. If you feel like your life is a constant swirl of chaos or that everything always happens to you, I encourage you to look inward and be honest with yourself. Have you become comfortable with the discomfort? Does envisioning a peaceful home or work situation bring up feelings of resistance or negativity for you? If so, ask yourself why this could be and maybe consider pursuing PEACE as your word of the year.
I put out a call last week for folks to share their word of the year with me here in the comments, via private message or email, or on Instagram. If you haven’t yet, I would love to hear what your word of the year is and why. Also, if you’re looking for support around handling anxiety and stress, and you feel like we would work well together, please reach out! You can set up a free 15-minute consultation call right here on my website. Just look for the scheduling page and make an appointment. And I said it last week and I’ll say it again: you are not behind. You can set new intentions for yourself any time you choose.
Take Care,
Meghan